What Does Narcissism Look Like?

Narcissism is an overused word that has now saturated the social media platforms, podcasts, books, and blogs. There is the personality disorder which is severe and is cited in the mental health profession’s diagnostic manual, and there are traits of narcissism. Below are a few common traits associated with narcissism:

1. Grandiosity: Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance. They may exaggerate their achievements and talents, expecting constant praise and admiration from others.

2. Sense of Entitlement: Narcissists believe they are entitled to special treatment and privileges. They may expect others to cater to their needs and desires without question.

3. Lack of Empathy: Narcissists have difficulty understanding and empathizing with the feelings and needs of others. They may disregard or belittle the emotions of those around them.

4. Manipulative Behavior: Narcissists may use others to achieve their own goals, manipulating situations and people to serve their own interests.

5. Attention-Seeking: Narcissists crave attention and validation from others. They may seek constant admiration and praise, becoming upset or angry when they feel ignored or criticized.

6. Exploitative Relationships: Narcissists often exploit others for their own gain, whether it's in personal or professional relationships. They may take advantage of others' kindness or resources without feeling guilty. Here is where we often see someone behaving as a bully toward others.

7. Difficulty Maintaining Relationships: Because of their self-centered behavior and lack of empathy, narcissists may struggle to maintain long-term, meaningful relationships, unless they are paired with a partner who suffers from self-love deficit (formerly termed co-dependency). Such a pairing is an example of two people needing to be needed, thus feeding off of one another’s emotional toxicity. And yet, they may cycle through friendships and romantic partners as others become disillusioned with their behavior.

8. Jealousy and Envy: Narcissists may become envious of others' success or possessions, feeling threatened by anyone they perceive as superior to them.

9. Fragile Self-Esteem: Despite their outward confidence, narcissists often have fragile self-esteem. They may become defensive or hostile in response to criticism or perceived slights.

10. Boundary Violations: Narcissists may disregard boundaries and personal space, viewing others as objects to be used for their own gratification. (Again, the bully-mentality is seen).

It’s also important to note that narcissism could have shown up in our parents, leading to our having been emotionally neglected and/or maltreated in childhood. It could show up in our partners, often due to a weakness in ourselves that attracts the narcissist traits; and it can show up in bosses, co-workers, or friends.

!Narcissistic traits can vary in intensity and may manifest differently in different individuals!

Please note that not all individuals who exhibit some of these traits would be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is a more severe and diagnosable personality disorder, cited in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DSM-5 301.81 (F60. 81).